Trauma Informed Election Engagement

Illustration by Daisy at daisyillustrations.com

It is officially election season in the United States. We are only 51 days out from election day, which blows my mind.

I’m feeling the weightiness of this election in particular, and really wanting to get involved and put my values into action. At the same time, politics can feel like such a conflict-ridden and contentious field that my body sometimes just wants to keep it all at arms length.

I want to share some guidance with you, that’s worked for me, on a trauma-informed approach to election season. This has enabled me to get engaged and enact my values, and also care for myself really gently and generously.

1. Don’t confuse listening to/watching/reading the news with taking effective action

Sometimes our nervous systems need a break from the high drama of the political arena — especially as it looks right now, with the current cast of characters. That’s okay!

I like to get really clear on what’s useful about staying informed. This in turn helps me get really clear about the threshold after which it exceeds its usefulness. Each person likely has a different individual ethic around this.

Here’s mine: The point of ingesting the news is to have enough information to know what actions to take — specific safety precautions, who to vote for, what issues need advocating around through my reps, NGOs, marching, etc. Beyond that, I view my media consumption as 100% voluntary and optional. And it doesn’t actually take that much to fulfill this criterion.

For those of us who have experienced trauma, it’s common for our nervous systems to feel a sense of urgency and a vigilant need to know every possible piece of information available — especially as the political arena, the pandemic, ongoing structural racism, and climate instability can continue to signal a lack of safety in our environment.

I am here to assure you that limiting your news consumption will not make you any less safe or any less a good person.

In fact, I have found that limiting my news consumption to its threshold of usefulness has freed up energy for me to be more present and available for effective action, and for my life.

Listening to, reading, and watching the news can be kind of like worrying. It feels like you’re doing something, but the action is all in your head. So let’s not confuse that with taking action that impacts the world around us, and let’s give ourselves permission to let the spinning go.

2. Let your engagement be responsive to your nervous system

There are so many ways to be effective in shifting the political landscape and power dynamics in this country. This means that I get to match my engagement to what my nervous system needs at any given time.

The action that’s right for me is the one that I’ll actually do, and that will enable me to stay engaged for the long haul. This allow for slow and steady, resilient, ongoing engagement.

In March, I started writing letters to help get out the vote through Vote Forward. At some point I got the idea that making calls is the “real” or “right” way to get out the vote. I stopped writing my letters, with the intention of taking this “better” action. At the same time, my nervous system was feeling kind of keyed up in general, and, frankly, calling strangers makes me anxious. I made no calls. But now I wasn’t writing letters either.

At some point I realized I wasn’t meeting myself where I was. In so doing, I was foregoing where I was actually available to be useful in favor of an imagery ideal of how I “should” be useful. I realized that meeting my nervous system where it was actually unlocked my capacity to participate. I started writing my letters again. Not only do I feel available for this action, I actually find the process soothing, and I feel grateful and empowered to be participating and to experience the agency that is genuinely available to me.

3. Structure your engagement like you structure your meditation practice

Much as I like to be a an unbridled free spirit, I’m most effective at stuff when I set clear intentions and have gentle structure.

I do get some election engagement and other activism stuff done spontaneously, when the spirit moves me. It feels great when this happens, and I take time to appreciate and enjoy it.

However, I’ve found I most reliably engage when I set clear intentions for how much of what I’m going to do when — just like in my meditation practice.

Here’s how I think about it: I pick an amount of time I want to devote each week. I decide what I intend to do during that time. I pick a time on the calendar to do it.

And I make sure to set an intention that feels really do-able. I know I will be more likely to stay engaged and keep it up when I feel successful and competent in meeting my goals. Again, slow and steady are my watch words. Give it a try and treat it like an experiment. This is not something to beat yourself up over. It’s an opportunity to find a rhythm that genuinely works for you.

I believe that everyone in the United States is living in a potentially traumatic environment right now — particularly those who identify as part of groups that are targeted by our nation’s structural inequities, and who live in pandemic and climate hot spots. There is a lot of discussion in the trauma literature on what they call “protective factors” — things that can protect someone from experiencing trauma symptoms even if they are exposed to a potentially traumatic event or environment. This literature has found that one of the things that contributes to trauma symptoms is a sense of powerlessness or helplessness. On the flip side, those who are able to be helpers in some way following disasters often experience fewer traumatic symptoms.

In keeping with this, by meeting your nervous system where it is, you can actually be freed up to locate your own agency. This can support your empowerment and resilience during these multiply trying times.

Six Tips to Start a Meditation Practice - Or Revive a Floundering One

Meditation practice is a huge piece of what’s getting me through this pandemic/shelter in place time, and what’s gotten me through the tragedies, traumas, and triumphs of a human life up until this point.

I want to share the benefits of this practice as widely as possible. My own experience of the blossoming of ease, inspiration, and clarity of values that have resulted from my meditation practice leads me to genuinely believe the world would be radically transformed for the better if meditating were as widely accepted as part of caring for ourselves and society as brushing our teeth or showering regularly. 

Chances are, if you’re reading this, you already have some sense that meditation might be able to improve your life, and maybe even society, in some way, too. But having a regular meditation practice is easier said than done! So let’s talk about some straightforward principles that can support you to start (or re-start) your meditation practice.

1. Articulate Your Why

   We all have a reason why we want to meditate — or want to want to meditate. Maybe you’ve seen research on its capacity to decrease stress and anxiety, maybe you’re hoping for more emotional resilience, maybe you have a friend or family member who meditates and you see how it’s impacted them for the better, maybe you’ve heard accounts of classical awakening and want to experience this path for yourself. Whatever it is for you, there is something motivating you to consider meditating. Getting clear about this genuine, personal “why” can be such a helpful catalyst for actually getting to the cushion and doing the damn thing.
   

   If you notice yourself feeling something like “ugggggh I don’t want to meditate. I need to get some more work done” or “I just wanna watch TV,” first, know that this is totally natural and happens to everyone. Second, remember your why. This is why it might be genuinely worth it to you to put in the time and effort to practice. When you do sit down to meditate, you can begin your practice session by remembering this intention, and feel invigorated in what you’re doing.
   

   If you’re feeling vague about why you want to meditate, I recommend taking a few minutes to write it out. How do you think a regular meditation practice would benefit you? How do you think your having a meditation practice would benefit your family, friends, and work? 

2. Get to Know the Part of You That Doesn’t Want to Meditate

   We just talked about how you can get to know the part of you that wants to meditate. At one time or another, chances are, a part of you will also arise that doesn’t want to meditate. If you’re feeling like you want to meditate and it just isn’t happening, chances are this part is arising. It’s common to think this part is bad, holding us back, getting in our way, and we should get rid of it and push through and force ourselves to practice. I want to suggest a different approach. Instead, listen to what this part is saying. Chances are, it’s advocating for something or trying to protect you in some way. It’s really common for the part that doesn’t want to meditate to be advocating for rest and relaxation, or trying to protect you from feeling difficult emotions it might be afraid will arise if you start meditating. Listen in, see what the part in you that doesn’t want to meditate saying. See how you can both meditate and meet this part’s needs, and give this part some reassurance that you recognize its concerns and you can do both. This meditation on procrastination (in this case procrastinating meditating) can help guide you through this process.

3. Go Slow and Steady

   Let’s talk about the steady part first. It’s really helpful to set an intention ahead of time for how long you want to practice each day, and how many days per week you want to practice. Think through where it can fit in your daily routine. Make it a habit that you don’t have to deliberate every day. Alongside that, let the intention be gentle. Better to aim to sit for five minutes a day, do it, and feel really successful and encouraged about your practice than to aim to sit for 30 minutes a day, feel intimidated by it, put it off, feel guilty at the end of the day that you didn’t do it, and then associate meditation with this feeling of guilt and failure. Listen to yourself about what feels really doable and celebrate every minute of practice you do rather than creating some “should” and focusing on how you’re not living up to it. 

4. Identify and Dispel Your Myths About Meditation

   There are so many myths and stereotypes out there about what meditation is. You have no idea how many people tell me they’re bad at meditating. This is usually because they have some erroneous and unrealistic idea about meditation. Here are some of the most common stereotypes or myths about practice that I hear: You have to sit perfectly still; you’re supposed to stop yourself from thinking, and if thoughts arise you’re failing and you’re bad at it; you have to sit cross legged on the floor; the room has to be perfectly quiet, there can’t be other people or pets around, and god forbid one of them comes up to you or talks to you while you’re practicing; you’re supposed to feel peaceful; meditation (at least in the United States) is by and for White women with a lot of extra time and money and if that’s not your situation it’s not for you; if you don’t practice first thing in the morning you’ve already failed. Holy moly. I’m here to say: nope nope nope. Some of these things are practiced in some traditions or techniques. But you have options. One of the amazing things about mindfulness is that it can be practiced anytime, anywhere, no matter the conditions of the situation or what you’re doing. So whatever limits you believe exist around meditation, let’s identify them. Chances are whatever seems like a barrier to you being able to practice is actually an opportunity to be flexible and creative in your practice. This is a great place for consulting with a teacher to come in. Someone with more experience will likely be able to walk you through this troubleshooting process.

5. If You Can’t Be Disciplined Be Clever

   (Shout out to Shinzen Young for this awesome phrase!) Frankly, willpower is not great at getting stuff done. If you’re noticing this in your own efforts to start or sustain a meditation practice, you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you. Luckily, there are lots of other options besides trying to use willpower to force yourself to practice.

   Sign up for a retreat six months out and pay ahead. Future you will totally be down for it ;) Capitalize on community and external structure. We have guided meditations you can download, and we offer a livestream five days a week. There are lots of meditation gatherings online and in your community. You don’t have to make yourself meditate by yourself. Just log on and let the class carry you. Make plans to join with a friend. Many of us are way less likely to bail if a friend is expecting us. Sign up to work one-on-one with a teacher, or sign up for a course. Setting up these supportive structures will help you practice.

6. Experience the Impact

   For me, one of the biggest motivators to practice meditation is frankly that I feel worse when I don’t do it, and I feel better when I do do it. If I’m feeling grumpy or off balance or like there’s some emotion building up that needs to be metabolized, that’s a cue for me to practice. I know what the impact of not practicing — or not practicing enough to meet the needs of the moment — feels like for me. Because I’m clear about this, these sensations motivate me to meditate. On the flip side, I have also paid really close attention to the benefit I feel when I do practice. At the end of each sitting period, really pay attention, on a sensory level, to any benefit you experience. Maybe the body and mind feel a little more at ease. Maybe some inner conflict feels like it’s come into greater harmony. Maybe an emotional knot was released. Maybe it was uncomfortable, but felt productive and growthful. Soak into these sensations at the end of your practice period and really appreciate them, even if they’re very subtle. Particularly if you’re having a hard time establishing a regular practice, give yourself full permission to do the practices you find most enjoyable. Let it be something you can look forward to.

Take it easy, let it be imperfect, and give it a shot! When I first started meditating, I had a sense that there was something there, but I had no idea how powerfully meditation would support me in resilience, flourishing, and freedom. I know meditation practice can do this for you too.

Scaling Meditation to Meet the Moment

The scale of our tools needs to match the scale of the challenge of the moment.

In March I wasn’t meditating as much as I had in the past. I was practicing basically every day, and integrating practice more and more thoroughly into daily life, but my formal sits were shorter than usual. My baseline levels of peace, fulfillment, and ease were still increasing tangibly. I felt sort of embarrassed that I wasn’t practicing more, but it seemed to be working well enough, so I stuck with it. 

The scale of my practice matched the scale of my super busy but largely peaceful life.

Then came the pandemic. I read news of it creeping towards my home city day by day.

I watched crazy impactful simulations of the spread and impact of the virus, and it really friggin hit me how many people were probably going to die. Grief. Horror. Helplessness. Fear. Urgency. These feelings came, and they came big and jumbled. Reading about the US federal government’s abhorrent handling of life and death decisions day after day added rage and fury to the mix. I felt saturated — too full — with thoughts of what’s going to happen and what needs to be done and what can I do to fix it, and all all all the feels. 

The moment far outpaced the scale of my practice.

At the end of March I sat a virtual retreat with Shinzen. By chance it intercepted this crescendo of inner and outer activation. Suddenly I was sitting 10 times as much as I had been before. And wouldn’t you know it, the overwhelming cacophony of thoughts and feelings became a flow of force and source. I still felt clear that I need to be active in providing care and transforming systems in this country. Only now, instead of feeling dwarfed and bowled over by the scale of the problem and my mind-body-system’s reactions to it, I felt empowered by the energy of this activation rushing through the body and inspiration running through the mind. 

I scaled up my practice to match the moment, and this empowered me to meet it with equanimity and action.

If you’re doing the same things to care for yourself that you were doing six weeks ago and it feels like it isn’t cutting it, don’t be surprised. It isn’t you. Those tools are now caring for you in the face of a way bigger challenge. 

There are two pieces to this equation: 1) The scale of your tools/practices, and 2) the scale of the challenge. 

Sometimes decreasing the level of the challenge can bring things into balance. Maybe I check Twitter two times a day instead of ten. Maybe I don’t go to the grocery store when I’m feeling most raw because (at least in NYC) it’s friggin anxiety inducing. Maybe I give myself some intentional breaks from thinking about this whole pandemic thing at all.

But sometimes I can’t decrease the intensity of the challenge. And sometimes I don’t want to.

I have to walk my dog, and every time I do I am confronted by the alternatingly eerily desolate or frighteningly crowded streets of my Brooklyn neighborhood, both reminders that leaving the confines of my home no longer feels as safe as it used to. And it’s important to me to read the news so I know what’s going on and where I can focus my actions to be most useful. 

So I need to scale up my tools — the practices I engage in to care for myself and metabolize emotion.

For me this looks like:

• Increasing my daily meditation practice time

• Doing some periodic longer sits

• Being even more intentional about practicing a meditation technique during my day-to-day activities

• Dancing and moving my body more

• Talking with friends and partner about my feels and their feels and just plain fun stuff 

• Connecting with nature (shout out the Brooklyn Botanic Garden for your videos)

• Really listening to my body about how many hours it’s okay to work in a day (when this is possible; and this one is not possible for everyone)

• Staying engaged in the work/projects/actions that make me feel connected to purpose and life force

Learning about and trying new actions that help me feel (and I hope be) effective and empowered to create the change I think is so important for this country and world

Give yourself enthusiastic permission to take more time to engage in the practices that care for you and bring you into balance.

If the current demands of your responsibilities don’t allow you much time to devote exclusively to care, remember that meditation practice can happen in the background while you’re taking care of business, or in tiny bursts between tasks.

Focus on the moment-to-moment sensory experience of the sights and sounds and emotions of being with your children. Repeat some caring phrases towards yourself while you take care of physical tasks. 

Difficult feelings will still come. And with enough engagement with meditation and care, they can increasingly be allowed to arise and pass in their own natural wavelengths, and leave you feeling more and more connected to a sense of common humanity and empowered for effective action.

Scales of Service

Many of us are feeling called to service in this time, as we read about the pain caused by this pandemic and experience it firsthand in our own lives. One of the sometimes-unintended effects of meditation tends to be an increase in compassion — a capacity to hold and face into pain with love, and a genuine desire to care for pain. Recently, this compassion has sometimes felt overwhelming. There is so much pain in the world right now. I have at times felt dwarfed by its magnitude. At other times I have felt powerless in the face of the large and powerful systems that are failing to provide adequate care in relation to this pain. I have watched with horror and rage as the federal government of the United States uses its vast power and reach heedlessly. In the face of this monstrosity, I began to think, “How impotent my meditation practice is; how inconsequential the actions of this one human.”

I had a mental image of every death, every mourner, all of us who have lost someone or something we held dear to this virus (in other words, all of us) emanating a dark smoke of pain. A great mass of suffering hung like a low fog, covering our nation and world. I realized that if our society is going to recover from this — emotionally and economically — we will need to metabolize this suffering. And I recognized that every ounce of that pain that I can participate in ameliorating, whether my own or others’, will be a service to the collective — will support the resilience and wellbeing of our entire nation and world by reducing this great mass of suffering. This helped restore a sense of meaning to all levels of service for me. 

I imagined a schematic of all the different scales on which I can help to ameliorate pain, and sometimes even provide care that prevents additional pain from arising at all, with benefit flowing freely from one level to another.

I saw how care at each level supported the others. And I did some writing to map out how I can personally be useful at each level, given my individual networks and strengths. I highly recommend doing this writing for yourself. I have since felt so empowered to let go of the places where I do not have pathways to effect change, and to take up action where I do.

Here is what I came to on how I can conceptualize and be useful on each scale of service:

Personal: My meditation practice, reaching out to friends for support, singing with my husband, moving my body, allowing whatever emotions arise to flow through with as deep permission as possible, relishing the fresh blooms of spring, these are all acts of deep service. My own wellbeing is a worthy end in itself; and by caring for it I open availability in myself to offer care to all other levels of engagement.

Close Friends + Family: Staying connected with my closest friends and family and showing up for them as such as I have the capacity for. Showing up for the Zoom call for my nephew’s birthday and the Zoom Passover seder are not just acts of sharing love with the individuals I get to spend time with. They are part of maintaining the holding environment and bolster to our resilience that are community and ritual. We are all nodes, with threads emanating from ourselves to one another. If we each keep sending love and care down the threads that radiate from us, we will collectively be caught by this loving net — our society fortified by our bonds of love.

Institutions + Communities: I made a list of all the groups and institutions I am part of — all the networks through which I can reach others. These are the pathways to which I have access to scale my impact. When I take action in any other dimension, I can think about how I can organize and share it with others in these networks, and ideally even to show them how they can take action and organize others in their networks to do the same. By activating these networks, service can be mirrored and multiplied exponentially. These are also the lines along which I share what I love to create — for me, teaching meditation and writing.

This is also where I think about those who will not be caught by the net of person-to-person care, and what needs can be met by institutions but not by individuals. This is where I think about which organizations to donate to and volunteer with. 

Government: I believe that one of the most impactful things we can do for the wellbeing of all in the United States, with rippling impact to the entire world, is to bring about a reality in which compassion and power reside in the same people. We actually have an incredible capacity to influence this in the United States. For me, right now, this looks like: Calling my representatives to advocate for vote-by-mail so we can all vote safely, and voter turnout is not suppressed by reasonable fear of the virus; supporting efforts to end gerrymandering so all people’s votes are counted fairly; writing letters and other efforts to get out the vote; organizing others to do the same; and of course, voting myself.

And so we put one foot in front of the other — guided by compassion, sometimes also feeling great grief and fear and rage, sometimes great joy and connection — to dissolve the great mass of pain hanging in our midst. One mindful moment at a time; one birthday call at a time; one act of organizing at a time.